It's been such a long time since the first time I started writing in this blog. I'm not much of a good writer anyway. My life has changed a lot day by day and I don't know whether I've changed for the better or for the worse. By the way, three years ago at the exact day and moment I wrote in this blog. Not in the same place. Right now, I'm writing this alone while back then I wrote it with my friends. Well, tomorrow should have been a big day if I were like other people who love birthday.
Me? I don't really think it's a special occasion.
I don't know why I feel this way. Perhaps it's because my family doesn't celebrate birthdays. We don't give any gifts to each other. Well, I guess sometimes ago my brother and I gave present at my dad's birthday. How we celebrate it are just by greeting "happy birthday" in the morning, giving kisses and praying together. We rarely celebrate it by having a party or anything else.
Well, tomorrow will be the fourth times I celebrate my birthday without my family. Somehow it's kind of sad. I found my best friends are so far away, busy with their bustle. The one thing that giving me another pinch of salt to the wound is the fact that my bf has a duty in another town this week.
It's like I'm paying my karma. In the previous years I was surrounded by the people who genuinely cared for me while I ignored their affections. It feels like being stabbed countless times, knowing the fact that I don't have anyone who really care for me tomorrow. Well maybe I'm a bit exaggerating. But that's just how it feels.
I value presence and affection more than presents.
Well anyway, I have to put aside my feelings. I have to concentrate more to my study and not to worry anything. I thank God for giving me another year full of blessings. I hope I have used it wisely and gratefully. I hope I can be a better Vashti in this upcoming year.
God bless.
xxx
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